Lent 2010 goes on...

Lent is almost coming to a close and I have to say that it has been a somewhat tumultuous one for me on several levels. Even though I promised I would write everyday, the store quickly got turned upside down when we decided to paint the entire locale--including the ceilings. This meant removing EVERYTHING off the walls and covering EVERYTHING underneath. Now that may not sound so bad except that we have literally hundreds of items in our store. The good news is that I think we made a great decision and the store is going to look much bigger with white ceilings than it did with black. It also looks more modern and a little industrial--which is what it was when we bought it--one huge storage warehouse. All this moving around is not conducive to my thoughts, it just gets me going in a thousand directions and when my office is completely out of order-forget it, I simply can't think. I've now moved my office back to a closed room at the opposite end of where I previously was. I had been in this location several years ago when this room doubled as the nursery for Cecilia. I'm happy to be back in this space because it has a window. That might seem like a small commodity but my last office began to feel like a dungeon after years without natural light. I also like that I can close the door. If I need/want some privacy, it is possible!
Then, in the middle of this transition chaos. We went to France. Talk about putting me in the zone. Trains at 6am, walking and working ALL day. Forgetting to have lunch. Finally eating at 3 o'clock. Being exhausted by the time you get to the hotel, only to sleep in a not so comfortable bed that is never like your own.
But yes, at least there was some GREAT food! Foie gras from La Table de Marie, fresh poisson, a few ducks, and not just a few pain au chocolat. When in Paris, you also cannot forget to go to Pierre Herme for the world's best macarons.
In all this madness, I think that the real reasons of the Lenten season got drowned out in my world. Faith is a complicated thing you know. And like all relationships, they take a lot of nurturing. With three kids, a husband, and a job, the things that aren't flashing bright lights are the ones easy to forget. And when you stop struggling, you stop remembering what you believe in, and that is dangerous. Yet, conflicting views come from every corner and I'm too mentally exhausted to sort them out. So this Easter weekend, I pray that my faith becomes a little more tangible again. That I know what to believe.